Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Wine To Your Mother

My adorable mother, who has endured everything, including
being the subject of my blog!
As much as I hate to admit it, I’m pretty much your typical guy.

I like to think of myself as some special hybrid product of the 1970s and 80s, with a lifetime of daytime talk show hosts and self help books to make men more fragile, sympathetic, and empathetic with the plight of the common female. Somehow, I’m more sensitive than the other men around me.

Truth is, when it comes to special events like anniversaries, birthdays, and especially Mother’s Day I become pretty much the typical blithering male who doesn’t go and buy a card or gift until midnight the night before the big event.

Honestly, it wasn’t until I read an article from a female wine blogger this week that I realized that it is mother’s day next weekend. At least I’m a week ahead of the other dweebs with XY chromosomes out there!

So, I know most of us will be out there looking to buy mom a gift this week. I know that I need to myself. But, as you know, I won’t be purchasing anything until next Saturday night. If you’re challenged in that way, just cut out this article and tape it to your dashboard until next week.

There are two types of mothers out there. Those who drink, and those who don’t . You can usually tell the ones who do. They have an extra lilt in their step even when everything else seems to go wrong. It’s as if they are oblivious from all the yelling in the backseat, puke on their shoulder, and their bra being used as a slingshot for Barbie and Ken. They’ve achieved a special zen from living better through chemistry.

If your mom is a wine drinker you’ll usually already know what kind of wine she likes to drink. I’m always amazed at how opinionated people can be about drinking only “red” or “white” wines. However, if you don’t pay that close of attention to your mom I have some suggestions as well.

First, if your mom is a hard core wine drinker you won’t want to go to Rite Aid and just pick up any old bottle from the bottom shelf. Put down the Barefoot Moscato there Bubba and step away slowly.

Your mom is probably a little more defined in her tastes than that if she’s drinking wine on a regular basis. I highly recommend that you go to a wine shop or a local winery tasting room and purchase her something a little more special. The nice thing is that Spring Release just happened these past few weeks and most of the wineries in the region have just popped out several brand new labels that will likely make a discerning mom squeal with joy.

If your mom is like mine. An old, cigarette smoking, bar hugging, tavern frau (just kidding you!) you might want to consider buying her wine in a box. Otherwise, I wouldn’t recommend any form of bulk wine purchase for the woman who changed your pee pants.

If mom is a red wine drinker, I suggest getting her a nice bottle of red wine such as a Merlot or Red Blend wine. I've picked up a huge number of under $15 bottles from the Northwest red blends recently, and with a few exceptions I've been pretty darned impressed. 

If your mom only likes sweet wine I suggest picking her up a nice Moscato or Late Harvest Riesling. There are several great wines from this region that are sweet. They range from $7 to over $400.  The amount you spend depends on your level of guilt left over from your evil teen years.

I wouldn’t personally use Mother’s day as a time to “enhance” momma’s drinking experience by purchasing her a 50 year old bottle of Chateau Expensive. Just get her a nice bottle of wine that says I love you in liquid form.

Happy Mother's Day!

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